CHILDREN’S CHILDREN by Matthew Dunster

Author:Matthew Dunster
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Oberon Books

THREE

CASTRO Well – I thought I’d met a rebel. The way Effie dressed, yeah? A kind of fuck off there are no rules attitude to clothes. Things were different with her – she was so sensitive so finely tuned to her idea of what was unjust. It was like she had a layer of skin missing.

Yeah.

You know?

I was kind of bewitched by her spasms when she felt things were unjust. Her resistance to her Dad, yeah, and his fucked up – aggressive – paternal control. Her desire to understand what I was doing. But her own drive to write to create to find new things and new people, you know? Her way of talking – affected – but innocent – she spoke in a way that I felt was like sketches for songs. There was a rhythm that could hide what she was saying – but she was always saying exactly what she thought. A brutal honesty.

I thought I’d met a rebel.

But I’d also met a princess.

And she ended up – well – is being good at wearing clothes and having your picture taken – is that creativity?

And does it matter?

The world revolves around her – or her and Farai – but that’s the same thing. Her world – her baby – at the centre no matter what the costs.

She’s a crazy maker – her behaviour – always affecting – other people –

Like

She was always crying. Always smoking. Never eats. Always late. Left at inappropriate moments and made a big fucking fuss about it. Flirts instead of listens. Understands what is to her advantage to understand – makes no effort otherwise – only laughs when it’s at someone else’s misfortune.

No that’s not fair.

I don’t know.

I find myself in the spectacularly depressing and compromising situation…where the mother of my child is not someone I particularly like.

But I mean Jesus – with that family – Jesus – and I know you’re not supposed to speak badly of the – I know that – but – her family!

I’ve only seen my Dad about say…fifteen – twenty times – I think that was probably hard for my Mum, yeah? But she was a model – I know I know I’m a hypocrite – but she’s my Mum and she’s nice – and me and Mum travelled – a lot – so – I never got the sense that we needed my Dad – he gets me a nice present when I do see him – he’s got a cool apartment in Chicago that I loved visiting – he gets me tickets for things – he’s put me in touch with a few useful contacts – OK, I don’t even know if he can remember my daughter’s name – but I always thought ‘this guy’s cool – he seems to like having me around – he talks to me – he listens to me – he’s a nice guy’ – but Effie’s family…

I don’t get it.

So much noise – so much arguing – but they’re doing ‘it’ for each other – whatever ‘it’ is.

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